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About Traditional Art / Hobbyist GoatlingFemale/Poland Recent Activity
Deviant for 12 Years
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Flowers composition by heaen Flowers composition :iconheaen:heaen 2 0 Underwater life by heaen Underwater life :iconheaen:heaen 1 0 London by heaen London :iconheaen:heaen 2 0 Like a sir by heaen Like a sir :iconheaen:heaen 2 1 Tutorial 1 by heaen Tutorial 1 :iconheaen:heaen 1 0 Seal by heaen Seal :iconheaen:heaen 3 1 Chameleon by heaen Chameleon :iconheaen:heaen 2 0 Dragonette 02 by heaen Dragonette 02 :iconheaen:heaen 1 0 Dragonette by heaen Dragonette :iconheaen:heaen 1 1 Labrador by heaen Labrador :iconheaen:heaen 2 0 Dragon costume by heaen Dragon costume :iconheaen:heaen 0 1 Meloman the Cat by heaen Meloman the Cat :iconheaen:heaen 1 0 Girl from a desert by heaen Girl from a desert :iconheaen:heaen 0 0 Me by Piotr Derkacz 02 by heaen Me by Piotr Derkacz 02 :iconheaen:heaen 7 1 My by Piotr Derkacz 01 by heaen My by Piotr Derkacz 01 :iconheaen:heaen 0 1 Me by Magdalena Garstka 04 by heaen Me by Magdalena Garstka 04 :iconheaen:heaen 6 1

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Angela by qMargot Angela :iconqmargot:qMargot 4 1 Mia by Sean-OConnor Mia :iconsean-oconnor:Sean-OConnor 5 4 Lord of Light by pokrzi Lord of Light :iconpokrzi:pokrzi 4 1 New Year's Chance II by MCG0603 New Year's Chance II :iconmcg0603:MCG0603 39 26 big headed by AncillaTilia
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big headed :iconancillatilia:AncillaTilia 366 20
The Boleyn Girl Smile by cabotinecco The Boleyn Girl Smile :iconcabotinecco:cabotinecco 7,149 521 The beginning of Christmas by Just-Cara The beginning of Christmas :iconjust-cara:Just-Cara 11 2 Smooth Back Lines II by cleanshvr
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Smooth Back Lines II :iconcleanshvr:cleanshvr 35 34
Four seasons of the year II by Just-Cara Four seasons of the year II :iconjust-cara:Just-Cara 3 7 Four seasons of the year III by Just-Cara Four seasons of the year III :iconjust-cara:Just-Cara 4 11 Four seasons of the year IV by Just-Cara Four seasons of the year IV :iconjust-cara:Just-Cara 1 6 Tous les matins du monde. by pokrzi Tous les matins du monde. :iconpokrzi:pokrzi 1 9 Heaen's Portrait by Amnet Heaen's Portrait :iconamnet:Amnet 3 14 Red and bubbles by eWuchA Red and bubbles :iconewucha:eWuchA 1 0



Ice Wizard by Yue-Iceseal Ice Wizard :iconyue-iceseal:Yue-Iceseal 25,942 829 Pandora by dahlig Pandora :icondahlig:dahlig 21,716 2,651 Happy Holidays by Micchu Happy Holidays :iconmicchu:Micchu 551 70 God's Canvas by Delacorr God's Canvas :icondelacorr:Delacorr 37,542 7,146
Thanks to some anonymous message I realized that I'd been writing anything here for quite a long time.
And since December there's been some changes in my way of living. Most of all - I'm a happy student of third year of polish filology. Yay, time flows.  I learned knitting and doing masks from plaster. Playing with oil farbs, but those are lame works. Using pencil - and that is going better, I suppose. In few days I'm going to Bulgaria. Holidays!

And - tranformation has ended. I even enjoy morning coffee - I'm an adult! F**** knew it was coming. 21, yay. Even in USA I can do anything I want. But I despise easy on-the-go instat coffee. I percolate coffee ritually - I mill it on my own in old grinder etc. I think that people need rituals. I don't believe in church with all it's red tapes... So I found my own ceremonies.

It's hurtful when you stand in front of some facts, like 'I can't afford all this amazing things that I would like to try' and you need to choose. That's me and photography. My camera is not the latest model, my lenses sux. So I started posing to pictures with different results. It's cool. You get to know very... Amusing (i think that's the best word) People.

I'm still independent, but much less flustered about that fact. Then, in winter I felt like word ended. And by writing all those things about me being on my own I tried to convince myself that I can manage to be like that. And I could. God damn, that feels right. For those who are with someone - don't kill me, but I feel like being created to be engaged with myself. And my books, my pencils, to flirt with photographers through their lenses, to dance with strangers in pubs, to drink alone on parties. I don't miss being with someone.

Sometimes it's getting cold. Like it was told in "Game of thrones" - the winter is coming and lasts sometimes few days, other time  - couple of weeks. But still - there is always a sunny light behing the courtain of clouds.

I still believe in love. I just stopped to delude myself that this amazing state of mind is something that actually CAN be find. It just comes to you in it's own time and stays. But first you have to fell in love with yourself (in positive, non narcissitic way). I one looked into mirror and though "Hey, ugly morning face. I have to start to like you, there will be no one else in my life, with who I need to get up every morning!".

So I abandon my searches. Let it be. Thanks, Mother Mary.

Kisses, enjoy summer!
  • Listening to: Glósóli
  • Reading: Capote
  • Watching: Game of thrones
  • Eating: ----
  • Drinking: coffee


heaen's Profile Picture
Artist | Hobbyist | Traditional Art
Born and raised in country that West Europe think is East, and East think it's West.
As a little brat I already loved everything that's unusual in people. I'm against collective responsibility. I strongly believe that everyone is SOMEONE. And no matter what You do (paint, sing, photographing, photoshopping) and how you do it - as long as you love it - it's wonderfull.
I dare to have dreams. And maybe I even try to fulfill them.


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GioArturi Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2016
 Happy Birthday, marvelous lady! :rose: :cake: :party: :sun: :heart: :love: :kiss: 
GioArturi Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2015
Happy Birthday, lovely lady!! :rose: :cake: :party: :sun: :heart: :love: :kiss: :hug:
Frog-Sward Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Proszę Pani, proszę Pani! :D
CrankyGeek Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2013  Professional Interface Designer
Happy Birthday :cake: hope you have a wonderful day :party:
GioArturi Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2013
Happy Birthday!!! :rose: :cake: :party: :sun:
filipberak Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Student Photographer
[link] filmik z pga
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